The Snake, The Toad, and The Slug
by Crazy Toastbox
Summary: [Crackfick] As a sort of payment for their summon contracts Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura reincarnates into the animals they summon.


**The Snake, The Toad, and The Slug**

[As a sort of payment for their summon contracts] Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura reincarnates into the animals they summon.

In a great blast of explosion, Team 7 died. Fury gusts of Rasengan and angry sparks of Chidori clashed. Rocks flew, the ground shook. Light was burying everything. Pain travelled to every nerves in the body at it went sailing then blackness took hold.

And Sasuke woke up.

He tried to raise his hands but couldn't feel any. He was on his belly. He must have fallen hard during the battle. As he tried to stand, he couldn't. He tried to lift his hands to prepare chakra for another chidori attack, but he couldn't gather any, not a drop of chakra nor sensation in his hands. He looked down.

In place of hands were air, telling the lack of hands. And instead of a pair of legs encased in his usual black shinobi pants there was a long, slimy, scaled body instead.

Sasuke had become a snake.

Sasuke cursed the idiot, it probably had to do with Naruto's technique. A little part in his mind supplied it was also Sasuke's fault, being the source of the other half of the explosion that somehow resulted to _this_ predicamant, but he quickly shut it up and vowed to beat up the dobe harder next time he sees him.

His silence was interupted by a huge croak. Sasuke tried to ignore it while he brood.

Croak.

Brood.

Croak.

Brood. Twitch.

Croack.

. Brood

Silence. Then.

. .Croaaaaaackkk!

. .Twiitch.

 _That's it!_

Before he kills that idiot he would kill that frog first.

Croak.

Sasuke looked around for anything sharp he could use as a weapon and cursed. He ended up picking up a twig with his mouth and slithered towards the source of that voice.

He would poke that frog to the death with a broken twig if he have to. No one dares interrupt his brooding time.

Meanwhile.

First thing Naruto noticed was that his stomach was rumbling and there was a buzzing black object flying around.

Then he saw something pink, slimy and wet swiped at the buzzing black circle which dissapeared followed by a more satiated feeling in his stomach.

And then horror formed in his head at the realization where that pink tongue had come from (belonged to) and where that black object went to and soon Naruto was gagging.

Croak. Croak.

Croak! *cough* Croak! *cough* Croak! *cough*

He couldn't die like this choking on a fly! Dammit. He still had a teme to defeat and bring back.

But Naruto kept coughing and croaking.

He was still choking hard to get rid of the fly from his now pot-bellied toad's stomach.

Dammit. What he wouldn't do for a bowl of ramen to wash away that awful taste.

Meanwhile.

Sakura was having a bad day. It wasn't enough that he had to watch her team mates fight each other. It wasn't enough that Sasuke and Naruto were killing each other and _succeeded._

But noooo, it had to get worse.

Sakura sighed as she tried to crawl around. Her optic tentacles looking around while her sensory ones took in the taste of dirt and grass.

She had to find Naruto and Sasuke.

But she was finding it a hard time to when she had no legs and had to wiggle on her stomach.

She contracted her muscles, moving her body muscle by muscle and cringed when she felt something inside her excrete mucous. It covered her tail and made crawling faster.

When she finds them both, she is so going to _kill them._

Meanwhile.

Kakashi rather enjoyed life as a dog. Sure, it was boring at times and he couldn't hold a kunai for shit with his paws, much less throw them at whichever human attempted to steal his _Icha Icha Paradise_. (which often left the humans disturbed. What would a pug dog want with a porn book anyway? They shuddered.) But after the mess his team had left him in, and all the emotional rollercoaster backlash Naruto and Sasuke had subjected everyone to, who were masochistic enough to be within their vicinity, he felt he deserved a little break.

Even though he was reborn as a dog.

At least he was a family kept dog and the members are much kinder and less trigger happy to punch and maim than his own team are, _were_. He doubt the rest of Team 7 survived, when, he, Kakashi who was the farthest away from the explosion was still near enough to get caught in it and _died._

And so Kakashi sat on his hindlegs, staring at his dog slobbered copy of Icha Icha, while trying to convince himself that _yessirree,_ the life of a dog beats that of a ninja.

He wasn't succeeding much, but with time at least he'll be able to convince himself.

 _Afterall, what could get worse ?_

He spoke too soon when he heard another explosion that sounded to much like a bunch of hisses and croaks and sighed.

Even after death and reincarnation, he should have known better than to think that he could forever escape the telenovela that was Naruto and Sasuke.

He knew he shouldn't have signed that contract.

He got up and went, sighing as he plotted way how to keep the two from _killing each other and them_ this time around.

Meanwhile, Sakura who was moving a millicentimeter per minute, was left behind once again.


End file.
